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I can only give advice if the advice is followed. It seems like every suggestion I've made has been deviated from in some way - I'm kinda at a loss here. The pads should be fine unless you are using way too hot of an iron.. Do you have solder wick to remove solder before removing parts?  If not, grab the cheapest scrap 50Ω coax you have, separate the braid and flatten it, warm it with your lighter, and rub a small amount of flux on it.  Use that to suck the solder from the pads so when you go to put the part back in, the hole is clear and the pad isn't pushed on by the lead being inserted..  If you do that and keep the temperature within 50° of the solder's melting point, you should not damage pads.