My new Years begining not so good, Jan 3 my dad goes to my aunts his sister finds her no longer living last week i receive a letter from my doctors at the cancer clinic they need me back there to test for another disease they been finding and feel i maybe a candidate for it its another stomache infection... Sunday my kids rabbit dies... jan 24 today i get up at 5:30 AM to watch my cat Ive had for 16 years die ofcourse the kids wake up for school and see this like they need anymore of it after calming from the rabbit.. Later today my mom calls to tell me that a friend of mine that had the same Cancer as me died from complications he was 34 a year older than I. He helped me alot when I first started this battle because what I was going through he had been through already so he walked me through it... Ever been depressed so bad it makes you actually feel sick??? Thats me today My 9 year old son is so tore up over the cat he cried on and off all night which pretty much hurts me seeing him like that... I dont know what to say to him the poor kid cried so much he had a headache but is now finally sleeping. Im just hoping things get better from here. I cant handle this stress with my condition already being the way it is its tough Kim (my wife) works 2nd shift so I have to tackle this alone I usually do ok but am kind of cracking today I think. This past few weeks has been so tough I really dont go anywhere so I guess Im just venting a bit. I know some of you really dont like seeing reading or hearing this garbage and I am sorry but as I said I think its just a venting thing. I keep to much to myself and feel as if I am gonna split at times. Again sorry to any of you that dont care about this drama I have becaause I know we all have are own. I can only hope it gets better from here..