Is this a real question or are you just having fun at our expense? If you are just playing, then I'm laughing with you!
If you are serious, well, here we go:
An antenna does not know (or care) if your signal is SSB, DSB, AM, FM, CW, etc.
The general rule is a vertical for local communications and a horizontal beam for talking skip.
When it comes to verticals, a 5/8 (or .64 wave) omni is the best you can get. I too recommend the I-10K first. I own THREE! If you can't afford the best, I'd recommend the Maco V58 before any fiberglass antenna.
When it comes to beams, you have a few options. I'm not sold on the Gizmotchy and wouldn't spend a dime on jo-gunn, but many out here have used them successfully. I'd think if they were superiour to regular yagi or quad antennas, the hams would be using them. After all, they spend THOUSANDS of dollars on antennas. It would be reasonable to think they would want the best. (I think they already ARE getting the best design!)
A dual polarity beam has its advantages and disadvantages. If you can find a healthy Moonraker IV, get it!
A Maco beam is about the best bang for the buck. Again, if you want to talk skip, install it horizontal.
There are so many variables, we need to know who you want to talk to. The mode is unimportant.