I feel that if it wasnt for bad luck Ide have no luck at all!! Some of you may know that I have been pretty sick on and off for quite awhile. Well this passed Monday 8-31 I my wife and youngest daughter had to venture North a few hours to Marshfield Wi to the hospital that saved my life and has been treating me eversince.
I had went in this time to see my Arthritis doctor that has been treating me for the Arthritis I got through my Colon and stomach Cancer battle they were going to do a CT scan obut decided that an MRI scan would be more of a benifit. Well for one I hate those MRI machines Im a very stocky guy and barely fit into those tubes and well those tight spots make me a little crazy anyways.
Well it was a struggle and a nerve racking thing to hold back from freaking out but I DID IT. I just told myself just get it done were almost done hang in there well I was proud of myself because there were several times I was about to push the emergency stop button but again I said hang in there almost done.
Yesterday I got a letter confirming the Arthritis troubled areas and explaining what there gonna do. I thought great thats awsome theres a game plan!! Then came the second paragraph which ruined any good feeling and accomplishment I had.
The second paragraph reads The MRI also shows a fairly large Cyst in your Pelvis. I was speachless now I have to go back and go through all this crazy stuff again after going through so much. If this is indeed Cancer again I dont know if I can handle this again or if my body can for that matter.
Im now having bad thoughts and dont like having feelings that Im angry with god am I the only one who has EVER felt anger towards the man upstairs?? I feel guilty but yet also cheated in a way but then again I made it through the last round. I ask myself how thi happens to good people a good father and husband.
I dont wish this on anyone but we all know people that we feel are a waste of air and space like rapist, murderers, Pedophiles, robbers ETC I spent lastnight and today just thinking about this I cant help to wonder as anyone would "why me" and again. I am really hoping that its just something that can be removed and its not Cancerous.
I also have a rare eye disease that they say was boosted do to the Cancer they said the body does weird thing s when an illness such as mine hits and well it sped up this RP (Retinitis pigmentosa) Retinitis pigmentosa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Im not looking for sympathy just venting and this way people understand what Im talking about I cant talk about it around my kids exspecially my son it tears him up.
Anyways give your kids and family all the love you can because tomorrow anything can happen and keep your heads up a flat tire you got on the way fishing isnt worth spending a month whining abot because alot worse things can happen. I know that there are people who got mad at me for dropping being ripped off issues ETC that is because like I said things can always be worse. Im not saying you shouldnt be mad because I myself have been scammed 2 times in 1 year and yes I want to choke the the knuckleheads until there eyes shot out like I was in a dartball match but eventually ya have to let go.
Now that Ive explained myself on that I hope Im understood a little better I have alot of praying to do let me tell ya but then that where the anger guilt comes in to play I have to keep my fingers crossed and chin up but Ill be the first to admit its pretty damn hard to do at times and alot easier to say to someone than to actually do.
Look around at your family and be thankful fo what you have things can change in the blink of an eye. Godbless and be good to oneanother......Tony
I had went in this time to see my Arthritis doctor that has been treating me for the Arthritis I got through my Colon and stomach Cancer battle they were going to do a CT scan obut decided that an MRI scan would be more of a benifit. Well for one I hate those MRI machines Im a very stocky guy and barely fit into those tubes and well those tight spots make me a little crazy anyways.
Well it was a struggle and a nerve racking thing to hold back from freaking out but I DID IT. I just told myself just get it done were almost done hang in there well I was proud of myself because there were several times I was about to push the emergency stop button but again I said hang in there almost done.
Yesterday I got a letter confirming the Arthritis troubled areas and explaining what there gonna do. I thought great thats awsome theres a game plan!! Then came the second paragraph which ruined any good feeling and accomplishment I had.
The second paragraph reads The MRI also shows a fairly large Cyst in your Pelvis. I was speachless now I have to go back and go through all this crazy stuff again after going through so much. If this is indeed Cancer again I dont know if I can handle this again or if my body can for that matter.
Im now having bad thoughts and dont like having feelings that Im angry with god am I the only one who has EVER felt anger towards the man upstairs?? I feel guilty but yet also cheated in a way but then again I made it through the last round. I ask myself how thi happens to good people a good father and husband.
I dont wish this on anyone but we all know people that we feel are a waste of air and space like rapist, murderers, Pedophiles, robbers ETC I spent lastnight and today just thinking about this I cant help to wonder as anyone would "why me" and again. I am really hoping that its just something that can be removed and its not Cancerous.
I also have a rare eye disease that they say was boosted do to the Cancer they said the body does weird thing s when an illness such as mine hits and well it sped up this RP (Retinitis pigmentosa) Retinitis pigmentosa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Im not looking for sympathy just venting and this way people understand what Im talking about I cant talk about it around my kids exspecially my son it tears him up.
Anyways give your kids and family all the love you can because tomorrow anything can happen and keep your heads up a flat tire you got on the way fishing isnt worth spending a month whining abot because alot worse things can happen. I know that there are people who got mad at me for dropping being ripped off issues ETC that is because like I said things can always be worse. Im not saying you shouldnt be mad because I myself have been scammed 2 times in 1 year and yes I want to choke the the knuckleheads until there eyes shot out like I was in a dartball match but eventually ya have to let go.
Now that Ive explained myself on that I hope Im understood a little better I have alot of praying to do let me tell ya but then that where the anger guilt comes in to play I have to keep my fingers crossed and chin up but Ill be the first to admit its pretty damn hard to do at times and alot easier to say to someone than to actually do.
Look around at your family and be thankful fo what you have things can change in the blink of an eye. Godbless and be good to oneanother......Tony
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