"Can anyone send me a link or something with a diagram or something that can show me which of the set screws to turn to set the deadkey on a Connex 3300HP"
VR13 = high power deadkey
VR16 = low power deadkey
" and the proper procedure if I might need to know anything special"
You'll need a wattmeter and a plastic tuning tool. If you use a metal jewelers screwdriver, be very careful. It's not recommended. I assume you are trying to lower the deadkey to match it to an amp? If so, then you only need to adjust VR16.
Set your radio to low power, then, while keying your mic, adjust VR16 until you get the desired reading on the wattmeter. Do not use the built-in meter...you need an external wattmeter.