My wife found this a while ago and it is just to funny....
With Deer season fast approaching around the states I was thinking this is a good education on how NOT to try to get a deer in your freezer....here it is
Why we shoot deer in the wild (A letter from someone who wants to remain
anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this).
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on
corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle
feeder and do not seem to have muc...h fear of me when we are there (a bold one
will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the
back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get
up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,
having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any
of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them.. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist
and twisted the end so I would have a good hold..
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a
step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an
education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when
you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight
range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is
that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off
my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.. It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big
gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the
several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing
my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I
shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't
want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back
up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started
moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let
go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD
and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was
likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the
tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are
surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a
horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best
thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed
like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to
try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance
that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from
horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the
second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me
down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there
crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I
know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to
sort of evens the odds!!
All these events are true ... An Educated Farmer
With Deer season fast approaching around the states I was thinking this is a good education on how NOT to try to get a deer in your freezer....here it is
Why we shoot deer in the wild (A letter from someone who wants to remain
anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this).
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on
corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle
feeder and do not seem to have muc...h fear of me when we are there (a bold one
will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the
back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get
up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,
having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any
of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them.. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist
and twisted the end so I would have a good hold..
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a
step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an
education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when
you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight
range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is
that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off
my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.. It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big
gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the
several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing
my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I
shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't
want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back
up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started
moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let
go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD
and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was
likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the
tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are
surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a
horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best
thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed
like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to
try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance
that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from
horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the
second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me
down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there
crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I
know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to
sort of evens the odds!!
All these events are true ... An Educated Farmer
