Minutes taken from the Sirio December 2007 meeting:-
(names have been ****'d out to protect the identities of those who chaired the meeting.
Director ******- We are here today to discuss a possible new antenna design in the Sirio range of 10 and 11 metre designs. However, the rising cost of aluminium in the recent recession has led us to the conclusion that we are no longer able to make a thousand percent profit on every antenna that comes out of this factory so we are looking at alternative materials. Here to explain more about it is chairmain ******
[applause]
Chairman ******- Good morning ladies and gentleman, today I will be discussing using cheaper alternative materials for the design and construction of our new range of antennae. Firstly, with times being hard and materials being more expensive these days we have decided to abandon using aluminium because we can no longer make our usual huge profit margins. We have decided to use Flexi glass and have ordered 4000 metres of various flexi glass sizes from a flag pole manufacturer that recently went bust. We got it at a bargain price from Ebay.
I was in a meeting last week with **** ****** in storage hanger 7 and he informed me that in 1994 we purchased 1000 meters of Teflon coated coax for a project which never got off the ground. We are going to use this for our tuning section and capacitor.
Interuption from ***** ***** (sales department)
But won't people notice us using sub standard and spare parts in our antennae?
Chairman ****** answers the question:-
No, we got away with it 3 years ago when we built the Top one out of scrap Vector 4000 parts, anyway on with the meeting. Also when I was in hanger 7 I noticed some old coax that had been stood next to the central heating boiler and had become very stiff and lost its flexibility. After talking with the design team it has been decided to include this into the design as a coil which is also in the tuning/matching arrangement.
OK, the mounting section I will leave to Director ****** to explain.
[more applause]
Director ****** - Thankyou chairman ****** for your contribution to the meeting. The mounting section and the former which we are going to wind our choke around at first posed a problem to us. We sent six teams to route in skips (dumpers) around the country to find something. Finally after weeks of searching we found a former to wind the choke around. Dyson hoovers had a machine malfunction in their plastic injection system and as a result 5000 units which they use to wind their power cable around on their latest model were ruined. In an act of good will Dyson offered us the units at a budget price. After a quick job with an hacksaw and a craft knife these met our needs perfectly.
The last remaining items on our list were the driven element and the mounting plate. The driven element, we decided to use any bog standard coax because no one can see it and the mounting plate was adapted from a Yagi 5 element beam that went totally wrong in 1972.
[massive round of applause]
Now here to explain how we chose the name for the new antennae is Pedro ****** from the sales team.
pedro ******- At first we were going to call it the 'I've been ripped off by Sirio again' but we realised people wouldn't go for that and we needed a name to really BS people with. Here were our top 5:-
1.K-mart toilet brush look alike
2.Gainmaster
3.Sub standard parts list
4.Imax copy but with the cheapest tuning section in antenna history.
5.Just another Sirio rip off
We decided on the GAINMASTER.
End of meeting.......
(names have been ****'d out to protect the identities of those who chaired the meeting.
Director ******- We are here today to discuss a possible new antenna design in the Sirio range of 10 and 11 metre designs. However, the rising cost of aluminium in the recent recession has led us to the conclusion that we are no longer able to make a thousand percent profit on every antenna that comes out of this factory so we are looking at alternative materials. Here to explain more about it is chairmain ******
[applause]
Chairman ******- Good morning ladies and gentleman, today I will be discussing using cheaper alternative materials for the design and construction of our new range of antennae. Firstly, with times being hard and materials being more expensive these days we have decided to abandon using aluminium because we can no longer make our usual huge profit margins. We have decided to use Flexi glass and have ordered 4000 metres of various flexi glass sizes from a flag pole manufacturer that recently went bust. We got it at a bargain price from Ebay.
I was in a meeting last week with **** ****** in storage hanger 7 and he informed me that in 1994 we purchased 1000 meters of Teflon coated coax for a project which never got off the ground. We are going to use this for our tuning section and capacitor.
Interuption from ***** ***** (sales department)
But won't people notice us using sub standard and spare parts in our antennae?
Chairman ****** answers the question:-
No, we got away with it 3 years ago when we built the Top one out of scrap Vector 4000 parts, anyway on with the meeting. Also when I was in hanger 7 I noticed some old coax that had been stood next to the central heating boiler and had become very stiff and lost its flexibility. After talking with the design team it has been decided to include this into the design as a coil which is also in the tuning/matching arrangement.
OK, the mounting section I will leave to Director ****** to explain.
[more applause]
Director ****** - Thankyou chairman ****** for your contribution to the meeting. The mounting section and the former which we are going to wind our choke around at first posed a problem to us. We sent six teams to route in skips (dumpers) around the country to find something. Finally after weeks of searching we found a former to wind the choke around. Dyson hoovers had a machine malfunction in their plastic injection system and as a result 5000 units which they use to wind their power cable around on their latest model were ruined. In an act of good will Dyson offered us the units at a budget price. After a quick job with an hacksaw and a craft knife these met our needs perfectly.
The last remaining items on our list were the driven element and the mounting plate. The driven element, we decided to use any bog standard coax because no one can see it and the mounting plate was adapted from a Yagi 5 element beam that went totally wrong in 1972.
[massive round of applause]
Now here to explain how we chose the name for the new antennae is Pedro ****** from the sales team.
pedro ******- At first we were going to call it the 'I've been ripped off by Sirio again' but we realised people wouldn't go for that and we needed a name to really BS people with. Here were our top 5:-
1.K-mart toilet brush look alike
2.Gainmaster
3.Sub standard parts list
4.Imax copy but with the cheapest tuning section in antenna history.
5.Just another Sirio rip off
We decided on the GAINMASTER.
End of meeting.......
