keys to domestic felicity

[kopcicle]

Help provide her own desk . Keep your hands off it.
Her own tool box. Keep your hands off it.
(In our case) Her own operating position. Keep your hands off it.
If ever there is an argument and you find you are right, apologize at once.
Money may be a powerful aphrodisiac but I've found doing the laundry, washing the dishes, cooking dinner, or flowers for no reason work better.
The hardest thing we (men) do is say nothing. Practice this to an art form. You'll be surprised what you learn. Most women will argue with themselves and come to the correct conclusion without your help.
If she ever admits to or apologizes for being wrong, accept your part in it . This is doubly true if you had no part in it.
All women are 'redacted' crazy. It's just a question of distance and direction. Keep up if you can.
Lastly, learn to love the woman and the differences . It is a process not usually learned immediately or completely .

 

[TheRealPorkchop]

Also titled “why to stay single and how to remain happy”.

 

[Shadetree Mechanic]

It has been clinically proven that women go crazy once a year for 365 days.....

 

[kopcicle]

...the remaining .25 day they're shopping

 

[Handy Andy]

...the remaining .25 day they're shopping

I guess mine bucks the system.

She does her shopping - even in her sleep.

But to be true to the adage of wisdom said above --- the opening parable ...

• As you read on, you'll see I have already met several qualifications - not that I wish to be awarded - but I do admit the Reward is - you live to see another day.

I'm the one that usually goes to pick it up - I'm amazed at the level of service a customer can be provided for, once the ice is broken and you're immediately given a spot in front of the line being recognized as - "Oh, I remember you, you're the guy with the that busy wife, here are your packages - and don't forget to remind her about our sale in the lingerie dept." - Not that it matters, she's on that d*mn phone even at dinner...she can see those items for herself.

That's why I've become Chief Cook, Bottle Washer and Doggies Do-Do - do'er...

Why not let the world know that you have other priorities? So - when the "boys" complain that you can't come out to play - those of us that have such a life, got chores to do ... this is the best I can do in between the do-this-do-that routine...

So There!

Domestics 101...

 

[TheRealPorkchop]

That’s why I bought a shed, no a she-shed but a he-shed aka man cave. That’s why I spend so much time in said shed. And also why I ordered it with a house door and full size windows. Packed with a mini fridge and a sofa sleeper, a sink...everything but a shower and toilet (in the works). Heated, cooled...and serves as my shop.

Cause, they do go crazy, that often. You just go out there and lock the door and be real quiet, don’t answer the phone and try not to giggle too loud when she’s in the yard yelling for me. I’m good at hide-n-seek.

 

[jon666]

mine goes nuts once day a month

 

[Rwb]

I gave up on mine,i developed selective hearing.she speaks,im like huh yea ok sure

 

[Rwb]

Oh yes P.M.S.= Pack My Suitcase

 

[S&W357]

Red Wine keeps them on even keel...sometimes.

 

[357magnum]

(Her) 44 years of " Can I get a horse " ?(Me) Sure but I want nothing to do with it ! 44 years of me baling & hauling hay , shavings & grain . I can add this to the list . I think in all those years I've been on a horse back twice ! Let's not forget the Trailer , new Truck's & that big MH to haul it around , Yup I got this !

 

[Tallman]

And don't forget the Menstrual cycle. My ex rode the F'n wheels off of hers. She was Bipolar in a new sort of way.
Pole orientation #1= Barely recognizable as human,
Pole orientation #2= Blood thirsty She Beast not from this Galaxy.
I have the stab wound scar to prove it. Done in front of the police even.

 

[TheRealPorkchop]

And don't forget the Menstrual cycle. My ex rode the F'n wheels off of hers. She was Bipolar in a new sort of way.
Pole orientation #1= Barely recognizable as human,
Pole orientation #2= Blood thirsty She Beast not from this Galaxy.
I have the stab wound scar to prove it. Done in front of the police even.

 

[357magnum]

Wow ! Sorry Tall , "my old lady" I was a patch member for years , still am but retired , you know what they do to the Tat . She Ain't that crazy ! Thank God ! jmo

 

[Tallman]

Wow ! Sorry Tall , "my old lady" I was a patch member for years , still am but retired , you know what they do to the Tat . She Ain't that crazy ! Thank God ! jmo

When ever one of the guys in the hood pissed me off, I would say, "Okay now you done it! The bitch will be here in a few and you can tell your story to her."(She was well known as crazy)
The stab wound in front of the cops is true.