I'm sure everyone has seen how television misrepresents things, no this ain't political, just how these advertisement folks dream up ideas. These ideas sometimes become real to those who aren't so bright.
Soooo.......let me tell you about my sister,
Growing up in a family consisting of yours and mine will result in conflicts of all types, and fights, animosities, jealousy, and plain dumb ass kids. That was us. We kids fought all the time, could not believe on another, or even trust. Was like a house of thieves.
My step daddy moved us out to the country where we could either stay out of trouble or kill each other, and after a spell, I believe the latter was preferable. He figured since he had grown up on a farm in Indiana he could pass on some good farm experience to us. Gardening for instance. Then came animals, chickens.
We started by building a small 10'x10' coop, then a larger pen made from 2"x4" welded wire around some trees. My brother and I worked hard at that, probably the first time we actually tried to do anything working together. My sister had been away with her mother in Florida, we had to go back and kidnap her, but she was back and the next morning we find her out by the coop. She asks what it's for and we explained chickens. she throws a temper tantrum and starts fighting with us, literally. Saying that ain't for chickens, it's for rabbits and Daddy is gonna put rabbits in there. Whatever, Judy!
She loved the Cadbury Bunny soo much, she wanted a bunch of them.
She runs inside to plead with her Dad for rabbits. My brother and I are over working on the pen laughing about it. Rabbits. Ha! We'll just eat those! We always shot rabbits, and Judy always ran off crying. She comes back out because her Daddy told her to go out and help us. Judy starts acting like she's the boss, not working out well with us. Saying all this was for rabbits. Sure Judy, ok. We had it! So we started talking rabbits.......hehehe! How we can cook 'em, skin 'em, pull 'em apart by the legs.......That worked....she ran off bawling. LOL. Never to help us again, good. Pain in the ass.
We get some chickens from a nearby farmer and proceed to chicken ranch. My step daddy decided to use the coop for Bantams, took him awhile but got them. It's months later and we are out spitting into the pen watching the chickens eat it, they'll eat anything. Judy comes up and asks what we are doing? We are suspicious, she's being nice. She never came out to the coop since she didn't get her way and get rabbits.
She wanted to know if the chickens had "Laid any babies" ?
We explained that chickens don't "lay babies", they lay eggs.
Off on a tirade she goes again......demanding that chickens lay babies. No, Judy chickens lay eggs and they hatch. Screaming at us that chickens "lay babies" gets my step daddy's attention and he comes out because the d@mned kids are fighting again. He jumps all over my brother and I for messing with Judy again. Huh?
We finally get her shoed off and explain to him what all the commotion was about. He started laughing, we started laughing. That's when Judy got mad, again, and throwing things. Daddy got her settled down with a good butt whoopin, and after the supsuppin subsided he tried to explain to her that chickens lay eggs.
"But Daddy, the Cadbury Bunny "lays Babies"!"
I went to school with the son of my daughters headstart teacher, so she new what to expect from me. So on with the story. when my daughter was in headstart they were to make mobiles using coat hangers and yarn. They cut out pictures of things they recognized in magazines and hung them from the yarn on the hangers, similar to the pic of the mobile I posted. Well one day when my daughter and I were home it was to quiet so I figured she was up to something, sure nuff she was in the bathroom and had her mommas pantyshields out and stuck them everywhere, the door, the cabinets, the wall and herself. I said Paige, don't play with those your momma needs those. And she asked what are they? I said pantyshields. She asks, what's she do with them? And I said, she puts them in her panties so she don't get poop stains in them, she was satisfied with the answer so problem avoided, or so I thought. A few weeks go by and it's now time for the headstart open house. So my wife, daughter and myself walk in to the headstart classroom and I instantly spot my daughters mobile, it wasn't hard because they had them hanging from the ceiling and only one had a big picture of playtex pantyshields hanging from it. So then Ms Brenda walks up and says hello Sherri, hello Wally, did you see our mobiles? And I said yeah they're really nice. Then she says, did you see your daughter's? And I said, yeah I'm pretty sure which one is hers. Then she explained that they cut out pictures that they recognized and put them on their mobile, she said I noticed Paige cutting out a picture of pantyshields and I asked her if she new what they were? And she said yep. Then I asked her if she new what they were for? And she told me, yep my momma puts them in her panties so she don't get poop stains in them. She said as soon as that popped out of her mouth I new where that came from, it had to be Wally. And then my wife looked at me and said why did you tell her that? Well what else did you want me to tell her? I thought it was a good answer up until now.
